Polygyny in Islam.

Assalamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh.

"Verily, all praise is due to Allah. It is due to Him, and to Him alone. We praise Him and we seek His help and forgiveness. We seek refuge in Allah from the evil of our own selves and from the evil of our actions. And whomsoever Allah guides, there is none to misguide him, and whomsoever Allah leads astray none can guide him aright. I testify that there is no god worthy of worship except Allah, alone with no partner, and I testify that Muhammad (SAWS) is His slave and messenger. Indeed the best speech is the book of Allah, and the best guidance is that of Muhammad (SAWS). The worst affairs are the newly invented matters, for every newly invented matter is an innovation, and every innovation is misguidance, and every misguidance is in the Fire."

The reason I chose to end with polygyny is because I have a lot to say about it. Mentioning it is seen as a taboo in the world over including the muslim communities, so I feel it is necessary to go into depth and try and explain it. Polygyny is permitted in Islam for various reasons, which I will go into very shortly. I will not speak about the cons because I am sure anyone who is against polygyny only knows about the cons so it's rather pointless.

1. To be a Muslim in its' least form is to believe Allah SWT is the one and only God and Muhammad PBUH is his last and final Messenger. If you believe this then logic says you believe that Allah is creator of this earth, Most Able, Most Wise, He is Omnipotent and All Mighty. If that too is correct, then what Allah has allowed for us humans who He created is surely good for us. Allah SWT is the knower of everything and He has permitted polygyny, so who are we as His mere creatures to even attempt to rebel and question this matter? As Muslims we should all follow the principle of 'hear and obey' the command of our Lord. So I know many female readers will be fuming right about now but the reality of the situation is if you are fuming and rebellious in your heart about this matter then you need to worry more about strengthening your deen and iman (faith) because this is not something a mere human said was ok for men to do, it is our Lord, the creator of the heavens and the earth.  For the purpose of the non-Muslim readers I will go further and explain a few reasons as to why polygyny is a good thing. This is not to say that these are the reason Allah says polygyny is Good rather my own evaluation o the situation of the whole concept.

2. Polygyny was practise by most communities in history. It was a norm and it worked for many centuries. Historically one reason was there were very many wars and unlike today, there were no such advanced technology. Majority of the men went out to a battle field and fought physically. This as a result left many women widows and others orphans with no one to provide for them or protect them. Polygyny helped fill these gaps in order for these women to be able to get married to be looked after and be protected (their modesty, their young ones etc.). Polygyny helped in preventing lewdness due to desperation.

3. Today the ratio in majority countries in the world have women as the majority population, countries including; Russia, Ukraine,  Bulgaria, Hungary, Senegal, Lebanon, Costa Rica, the list is long: just google it and you will see my point. With that in mind, you can add to the ratio, those men who are incapable to provide for a family due to being mentally disable, you add the delinquents of society that will never have a family, then add on the gays. This people, like it or not increases the ratio of women to men. My question then is what happens to these remaining women? The Prophet PBUH tells us:
  " On the authority of Anas bin Malik, the servant of the messenger of Allah; none of you (truly) believes until he wishes for his brother what he wishes for himself." Related by Bukhari and Muslim.
If you accept this and follow this then wouldn't you want protection and comfort for your sister as you already have/plan to have?

4. Men are built different to women. They have a different structure to women, they think different to women, they feel different compared to women they are different in every physical and emotional aspect to women. Women are emotional creatures, men are lustful creatures. That is nothing to debate about so we don't know why they can't control themselves sexually, Allah knows best but we know they cannot. This is why men have the most insulting stereotypical names, no offence to any men out there, I am just trying to make this point understood better. The Prophet Muhammad PBUH advised men on this, he told Ali bin Abi Talib: "O Ali, do not follow a glance with another for you will be forgiven for the first but not the second."
The Prophet also told the Sahabbah's: Reported  by Abdullah bin Mas'ud that the messenger of Allah PBUH said to them, "O young men, those among you who can support a wife should marry, for it restrains eyes (from casting evil glances) and preserves one from immorality; but he who cannot afford it should observe fast for it is a means of controlling the sexual desire."  


5.  It is our duty as wives/mothers to protect and care for everything in our houses. It would be advantageous not having to focus on ensuring everything is perfect in your house ALL the time. We have been given the sole responsibility to care for our children, and always satisfy our husbands desires and not refuse them except for the exceptions. Doing this day in day out is exhausting and might get monotonous. This is not a very strong point but if you were in a polygynous marriage then you would get some days to yourself, to do what ever you please. Knowing your husband will not resent you for ignoring him, and you will get a BREAK. I know some married people who are in a monogamous relation that take a day of the week away from each other in order to have time to themselves and just relax without the responsibility of the other.  


Polygyny is not an easy thing. I will not pretend to know the difficulty and strength one needs to accept and move past it. I am well aware of the nature of women: the jealous, the envy and the suspicion is in our nature. But I know Allah knows best on the matter. It would need immense patience and humbleness to accept polygyny, and the lack of this is probably why so many women are so opposed to it. There are obviously requirements for polygyny and no man can just marry four women because he has been allowed,  rather if he is not able to fulfil this conditions also set by his Maker then his application for polygynous marriage is also denied and he will be accountable to his Lord on the day of Judgement. Inshallah I will talk about these requirements when talking about marriage in general inshallah. But ladies let us remember we are in this world temporarily, these men who we call husbands are also temporary. Isn't it better for you to please your Lord and get eternal joy and happiness than to please yourself on this world for a maximum of 80 years average? We forget that we are on this earth temporarily. The reward a woman would get from expressing her approval for polygyny and being patient with her husband even though she is not okay with the situation is better for her, if she only knew. Please let's not look at polygyny as a taboo and not end a perfectly good marriage/family because of jealousy and envy. It is not worth it in the end because you will be divorced, break a family if you have children and lastly,you will displease Allah because you are forbidding what Allah has made lawful. Wana'wudhu billah!

Assalamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh.

The Social Aspects of Women in Islam.

B: As a Wife.

1: Marriage in Islam is based on mutual peace, love, and compassion, and not just the mere satisfying of human sexual desire. Among the most notable verses in the Qur'an about marriage is the following: "And of His signs is: that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquility in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a people who'd give thought." (30:21, also see 42:11, 2.228)

2: The female has a right to accept or reject marriage proposals. According to Islamic Law, women cannot be forced to marry anyone without their consent. That is not to say arranged marriages are prohibited. Arranged marriages are the ideal way of getting married as the Prophet  PBUH practised that. Forced marriages are not acceptable.  Abu Huraira (Allah be pleased with him) reported Allah's Messenger (PBUH) as having said: "A woman without a husband (or a divorced or a widow) must no be married until she is consulted, and a virgin must not be married until her permission is sought. They asked the Prophet of Allah PBUH: How her (virgin's) consent can be solicited? He PBUH said: That she keeps silent." Al Muslim.

3: The husband is responsible for the maintenance, protection, and overall leadership of the family, within the framework of consultation ( Qur'an 2:233) and kindness (4: 19). The mutuality and complementary nature of the husband and wife does not mean subservience by either party to the other. The Prophet PBUH  instructed Muslims regarding women: " I commend you to be good to women." And "The best among you are those who are best to their wives." The Qur'an urges husbands to be kind and considerate to their wives, even if a wife falls out of favour with her husband or disinclination for her arises within him: "And live with them in kindness. For if you dislike them, perhaps you dislike a thing and God makes therein much good." ( 4:19) It also outlawed the Arabian practice before Islam whereby the stepson of the deceased father was allowed to take possession of his father's widow(s) (inherit them) as if they were part of the estate of the deceased (4:19).


4: Should marital disputes arise, the Qur'an encourages couples to resolve them privately in a spirit of fairness and goodness. Indeed, the Qur'an outlines an enlightened step and wise approach for the husband and wife to resolve persistent conflict in their marital life. In the event that dispute cannot be resolved equitably between husband and wife, the Qur'an prescribes mediation between the parties through family intervention on behalf of both spouses (4:35).  


5: Divorce is a last resort, permissible but not encouraged, for the Qur'an esteems the preservation of faith and the individual's right - male and female alike- to felicity. Forms of marriage dissolution include an enactment based upon mutual agreement, the husbands initiative, the wife's initiative (if part of a marriage contract), the courts decision on a wife's initiative (for legitimate reason), and the wife's initiative without cause, provided that she returns her marital gift to her husband. When the continuation of the marriage relationship is impossible for any reason, men are still taught to seek a gracious end for it. The Qur'an states about such cases: "And when you divorce a woman and they have fulfilled their term (i.e. waiting period), either keep them in kindness or release them in kindness, and do not keep them, intending harm, to transgress (against them)." (2:31, 2:229 and 33:49) 


6: Lastly polygyny. I have purposefully placed this as the last point because I am going to talk about it A LOT!!! Associating polygyny with Islam, as if it was introduced by it or is the norm according to its teachings, is one of the most persistent myths perpetuated in western literature and media. Polygyny existed in almost all nations and was even sanctioned by Judaism and Christianity until recent centuries. Islam did not outlaw polygyny, as did many people's and religious communities; rather, it regulated and restricted it. It is not required but simply permitted with conditions. Allah says:
" ...then marry those that please you of (other) women, two or three  or four. But if you fear that you will not be just, then marry only one or those you right hand possesses (i.e., slaves). That is more suitable that you may not incline [to injustice].(4:3)
Spirit of law, including timing of revelation, is to deal with individual and collective contingencies that may arise from time to time (e.g. Imbalances between the number of males and females created by wars) and to provide a moral, practical, and humane solution for the problems of widows and orphans.

The Social Aspects of Women in Islam.

A. As a daughter: 

1: The Qur'an ended the cruel practice of female infanticide, which was before Islam. Allah has said: "And when the girl (who was) buried alive is asked, for what sin was she killed." (81:8-9)

2: The Qur'an went further to rebuke the unwelcoming attitude of some parents upon hearing the news of the birth of a baby girl, instead of a baby boy. Allah says:
"And when one of them is informed of (the birth) of a female, his face becomes dark, and he suppresses grief. He hides himself from people because of the ill of which he has been informed. Should he keep it in humiliation or bury it in the ground? Certainly, evil is what they decide." (16:58-59)

3: Parents are duty-bound to support and show kindness and justice to their daughters. The Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) said:
"Whosoever supports two daughters until they mature, he and I will come on the Day of judgement as this (and pointed with his fingers held together)." 

4: A crucial aspect in the upbringing of daughters that greatly influences their future is education. Education is not only a right but a responsibility for all males and females. The Prophet (PBUH) said:
"Seeking knowledge is mandatory for every muslim." The word "muslim" here is inclusive of both males and females. 

5: Islam neither requires nor encourages female circumcision.And while it is practiced by some Muslims in certain parts of Africa, it is also practiced by other peoples, including Christian in those places. A reflection merely of the local customs and practices there. So for my dear Somali brother and sisters (I am singling out somali's because I am one and I know our my culture) female circumcision is not a sunnah, not removing the blood and certainly not female genital mutilation, it is torture for the very many girls who have to undergo and have already had it done this unnecessary, backward practise. It is also very disheartening to see them use Islam as the reason for doing it. This is not an Islamic practice rather a cultural practise. 

The Economic Aspect of Women in Islam

Assalamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh.

"Verily, all praise is due to Allah. It is due to Him, and to Him alone. We praise Him and we seek His help and forgiveness. We seek refuge in Allah from the evil of our own selves and from the evil of our actions. And whomsoever Allah guides, there is none to misguide him, and whomsoever Allah leads astray none can guide him aright. I testify that there is no god worthy of worship except Allah, alone with no partner, and I testify that Muhammad (SAWS) is His slave and messenger. Indeed the best speech is the book of Allah, and the best guidance is that of Muhammad (SAWS). The worst affairs are the newly invented matters, for every newly invented matter is an innovation, and every innovation is misguidance, and every misguidance is in the Fire." 


As seen in the previous posts women were degraded in many aspects, and possessing wealth, and assets was unheard of. Islam gives the woman her equal rights in everything including economic status. The woman has been raised to such a high status even arguably higher than men because in regards to her wealth it is solely hers to use at her disgression where as the man has his family as his responsibility. Inshallah I will discuss this in detail soon. So I will look at a woman's right in various Econmic aspects and show exactly how woman are equal to man inshallah.

1. The right to possess personal property: Islam decreed a right of which woman was deprived both before Islam and after it (even as late as the 20th century) the right of independent ownership. The Islamic Law recognises the full property rights of women before and after marriage. They may buy, sell or lease any or all of their properties at will. For this reason, Muslim women may keep (and in fact have traditionally kept) their maden names after marriage, an indication of their independent property rights as legal entities.

2. Financial security and inheritance Law: Financial security is assured for women. They are entitled to receive marital gifts without limit and to keep present and future properties and incomes for their own security, even after marriage. No married woman is required to spend any amount at all from her property and income on the household. The woman in entitled also to full financial support during marriage and during the "waiting period" (iddah) in case of divorce or widowhood. Some jurists require, in addition, one year's support for divorce and widowhood (or until they remarry, if remarriage takes place before the year is over). A woman who bears a child is entitled to child support from the child's father. Generally, a Muslim woman is guaranteed support in all stages of her life, as a daughter, wife, mother or sister. The financial advantages accorded to women and not to men in marriage and in family have a social counterpart in the provisions that the Qur'an lays down inn the laws of inheritance, which afford the male, in most cases, twice the inheritance of a female. Males inherit more but ultimately they are financially responsible for their female relatives; their wives, daughters, mothers, and sisters. Females inherit less but retain their share for investment and financial security, without and legal obligation to spend any part of it, even for their own sustenance (food, clothing, housing, medication, etc). It should be noted that before Islam, women themselves were sometimes objects of inheritance (see Qur'an 4:19). In some western countries, even after the advent of Islam, the whole estate deceased was given to her eldest son. The Qur'an, however, made it clear that both men and women are entitled to a specified share of the estate of their deceased parents, or close relatives.

Allah SWT said: "For men is a share of what the parents and close relatives leave, and for women is a share of what the parents and close relatives leave, be it little or much, an obligatory share. (4:7)

 3. Employment: With regards to woman's right to seek employment, it should be stated first that Islam regards her role in society as a mother and as a wife as her most sacred and essential one. Neither maids nor baby sitters can possibly take the mother's place as the educator of an upright, complex free, and carefully reared child. Such a noble and vital role, which largely shapes the future of nations, cannot be regarded as idleness. However, there is no decree in Islam that forbids women from seeking employment whenever there is a necessity for it, especially in positions which fit her nature best and in which society needs her most.

With employment the woman has to observe her haiya (modesty) and that can sometimes be difficult in some job descriptions. So remember ladies, and men who feel they need to restrict their wives, sisters etc to work. Inshallah if she feels she needs to compromise for whatever reason, her deen, remind her about her responsibilities, and if she is not yet a mother of wife inshallah advice her to observe haiya (modesty) in search for work and also if she gets the job. You should never give up your religion to make a few dollars because once we die my dear brothers and sisters rest assured the millions or cents you make will not be changed into good deeds, they will be shared equally among your family members and used immediately. So let's not give up Islam for this worldly goods, Inshallah let us all remember Allah wrote our rizk (sustenance) way before He created this world. So let us all have Tawaqal (trust) in Allah and follow His commands to the tee! That means following and observing the rights He gave to both men and women.
Lastly, I am not saying working is wrong, I honestly belief women should empower themselves in every way. School, business the works. I also feel we should know our role in society and not try to be like men because that is illogical. Let us all lear from our mother of Islam Khadija RA who was one of the most successful business ladies during the prophet's PBUH time. She, however, did not compromise her dignity, her modesty, her responsibilities as a mother and a wife or most importantly her deen for her business. May Allah guide us all on the right swirat (path) and protect us from the fitnah (trials) of this duniya (world).

Assalamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh.

Spiritual and Human Equity in Islam

As salamu alaikum wa rahmathullah wa barakathu.

I know I am slaking in my posting please do not run out of patiences with me. Slowly but surely it will be a consistent and time tabled blog and not just something I do on the side to improve my deen.
So continuing from the previous post, I would like to talk about the equity that is between men and women in the sight of Allah. How we are all equal to Allah and different on accounts of our  iman (piety).

In the midst of he darkness that engulfed the world, divine revelation echoed in the wide desert of Arabia in the seventh century with a fresh, noble, and universal message to humanity.
According to the Holy Qur'an, men and womn have the same human spiritual nature:

"O mankind, fear your Lord, who created you from one soul and created from it it's mate and dispersed from both of them many men and women..."(4:1) also see (7:189, 42:11, 16:72, 15:29) 

The Qur'an does not blame women for the "fall of man", nor doesn't view pregnancy and childbirth as punishments for "eating from the forbidden tree." on the contrary, the Qur'an depicts Adam and Eve as equally responsible for their sin in the Garden, never singling out Eve for blame. Both repented, and both were forgiven (2:36-37 and 7:19-27).

In fact, in one verse (20:121) Adam specifically was blamed. The Qur'an also esteems pregnancy and childbirth as sufficient reason for the love and respect due to mothers from their children. (31:14 and 46:15)
Men and women have the same religious and moral duties and responsibilities. Each human being shall face the consequences of his or her deeds.

"And their Lord responded to them (saying): Never will I allow to be lost the work of (any) worker among you, whether make or female; you are of one another..." (3:195) Also see 74:38, 16:97, 4:124, 33:35, and 57:12

The Qur'an is quite clear about the issue of the claimed superiority or inferiority of any human, male or female. The sole basis for superiority of any person over another is piety and righteousness not gender, colour, or nationality (49:13).