The Social Aspects of Women in Islam.

B: As a Wife.

1: Marriage in Islam is based on mutual peace, love, and compassion, and not just the mere satisfying of human sexual desire. Among the most notable verses in the Qur'an about marriage is the following: "And of His signs is: that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquility in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a people who'd give thought." (30:21, also see 42:11, 2.228)

2: The female has a right to accept or reject marriage proposals. According to Islamic Law, women cannot be forced to marry anyone without their consent. That is not to say arranged marriages are prohibited. Arranged marriages are the ideal way of getting married as the Prophet  PBUH practised that. Forced marriages are not acceptable.  Abu Huraira (Allah be pleased with him) reported Allah's Messenger (PBUH) as having said: "A woman without a husband (or a divorced or a widow) must no be married until she is consulted, and a virgin must not be married until her permission is sought. They asked the Prophet of Allah PBUH: How her (virgin's) consent can be solicited? He PBUH said: That she keeps silent." Al Muslim.

3: The husband is responsible for the maintenance, protection, and overall leadership of the family, within the framework of consultation ( Qur'an 2:233) and kindness (4: 19). The mutuality and complementary nature of the husband and wife does not mean subservience by either party to the other. The Prophet PBUH  instructed Muslims regarding women: " I commend you to be good to women." And "The best among you are those who are best to their wives." The Qur'an urges husbands to be kind and considerate to their wives, even if a wife falls out of favour with her husband or disinclination for her arises within him: "And live with them in kindness. For if you dislike them, perhaps you dislike a thing and God makes therein much good." ( 4:19) It also outlawed the Arabian practice before Islam whereby the stepson of the deceased father was allowed to take possession of his father's widow(s) (inherit them) as if they were part of the estate of the deceased (4:19).


4: Should marital disputes arise, the Qur'an encourages couples to resolve them privately in a spirit of fairness and goodness. Indeed, the Qur'an outlines an enlightened step and wise approach for the husband and wife to resolve persistent conflict in their marital life. In the event that dispute cannot be resolved equitably between husband and wife, the Qur'an prescribes mediation between the parties through family intervention on behalf of both spouses (4:35).  


5: Divorce is a last resort, permissible but not encouraged, for the Qur'an esteems the preservation of faith and the individual's right - male and female alike- to felicity. Forms of marriage dissolution include an enactment based upon mutual agreement, the husbands initiative, the wife's initiative (if part of a marriage contract), the courts decision on a wife's initiative (for legitimate reason), and the wife's initiative without cause, provided that she returns her marital gift to her husband. When the continuation of the marriage relationship is impossible for any reason, men are still taught to seek a gracious end for it. The Qur'an states about such cases: "And when you divorce a woman and they have fulfilled their term (i.e. waiting period), either keep them in kindness or release them in kindness, and do not keep them, intending harm, to transgress (against them)." (2:31, 2:229 and 33:49) 


6: Lastly polygyny. I have purposefully placed this as the last point because I am going to talk about it A LOT!!! Associating polygyny with Islam, as if it was introduced by it or is the norm according to its teachings, is one of the most persistent myths perpetuated in western literature and media. Polygyny existed in almost all nations and was even sanctioned by Judaism and Christianity until recent centuries. Islam did not outlaw polygyny, as did many people's and religious communities; rather, it regulated and restricted it. It is not required but simply permitted with conditions. Allah says:
" ...then marry those that please you of (other) women, two or three  or four. But if you fear that you will not be just, then marry only one or those you right hand possesses (i.e., slaves). That is more suitable that you may not incline [to injustice].(4:3)
Spirit of law, including timing of revelation, is to deal with individual and collective contingencies that may arise from time to time (e.g. Imbalances between the number of males and females created by wars) and to provide a moral, practical, and humane solution for the problems of widows and orphans.